To write down all the ways God has changed my life in the last few years would probably amount to a novel. Sometimes, I even forget that person who lived my life for me before I met
Jesus. She was angry, filled with grief, sadness, loneliness, shame and completely lost. There was no hope for the future or what felt like a way to a better life. Everyday felt like a never ending cycle of frustration and loneliness.
Growing up in a life taking a backseat to her parent’s addictions, coupled with domestic violence, emotional abuse, and loss had taken its toll. When it was time to now be a wife and Mom all of those lifelong behaviors, anxieties, and feelings came to a head. Postpartum depression and anxiety stole years that can never be replaced. Walls had been built up since childhood to protect the little bit of love that was left in that very hardened heart. This led to never having true or real trusting relationships. Always, just having friends in the moment and hightailing it out of there when things were no longer easy. Days were spent working at a job that she hated, but had to do because the circumstances in their life made it nearly impossible to do anything else. Her husband working before the kids woke up and came home long after they were put to bed at night 6-7 days a week made life very lonely and overwhelming. There was a huge part of her missing. Until.
My kindergartner Emma met her BFF Emmy about 6 years ago and that was when God
stepped in and changed our lives. Emmy’s mom Andrea had been the kindest, most loving
person who took me in as a friend and loved me even when my heart was completely hard. As the years went on, I could call her and she would help me through my deep sadness and
anxiety, never making me feel ashamed or judged more than I had already felt on my own. I
finally took the invitation from Andrea to go to church and packed all the kids in our green
Chrysler minivan that barely made the drive not knowing what at all to expect. I sat down in a
chair at Skyline and was very confused. I was not used to this kind of church because I had only been to catholic mass and I worked at a preschool in a lutheran church. It took me a whole year after that to go back. Life had grown harder that year and I was slowly deteriorating. I hated myself more and more everyday and felt completely unlovable. I had let the grudges I was holding onto consume me. I continuously cut myself off from everyone around me.
Finally, I decided to go back and try Skyline again and the rest is history. Pastor Chris stood up on the stage that day and looked into the crowd, and what felt like the depths of my soul, and said “You are not alone”. For the first time in my entire life, I believed it.
Skyline has given me a second chance at life. God leading me to Skyline has
completely changed my family tree. My children now know and love Jesus. Through life groups and book clubs I have met true friends who have been there for me through some very tough and trying situations ,and as I grow in my faith and knowledge, I am also able to help others through their difficult times and moments. Skyline has taught me how to recognize what is true and how to live my life according to God’s word and not what this world tells me. My mother passed away 6 months ago due to cirrhosis of the liver. I had so much anger and resentment built up that for most of my adult life I couldn't stand to be around her. I prayed for freedom from the toxic relationship and also the anger I held in my heart. Through the women I met at Skyline and our life groups I learned how to go to Jesus with my hurt and anger. Them loving me taught me how to love again. I was able to forgive my mom that year before she died. I was able to bring her to her last Christmas with us with no anger or awkwardness. I was able to show her love those last few months because Jesus had healed my heart and I had finally felt His love. So many people from Skyline showed up and helped with my mother’s memorial. A woman they had never met.
The community that Skyline offers is a lifeline. It is one of God’s greatest blessings to
me. Skyline has taught me how to ask God where he wants me to go and to keep my eyes
focused on Him. When I go astray and lose focus, my friends are there to bring me back with
love and without judgment. Our life has changed in so many ways after giving my life to Jesus, but also after giving my heart to Skyline. My husband is no longer working all hours of the day and the kids don’t remember a time that he did. Even though he is still reluctant about joining us at church he no longer turns off the worship music in the car, and even went to a Brandon Lake / Phil Whickam concert with me and some of my Skyline friends and enjoyed it. God is working in his heart one day at a time. He sees how everyone shows up for me, and one day his testimony will be one for the books! All because of our Skyline community. After years of prayer, God granted me the miracle of a job where I get to work from home with health benefits and a decent salary in an industry I knew nothing about. I get to be home for my children and work at the same time. Our life continues to change the more I trust in God. I see how he uses Skyline to change lives and help those who need him. I cannot wait to continue my growth at Skyline and see what God does with it.